when i had time

when i had time i did a few pages of art journal, it took me also some time for picture them, even more for post them, here i am being trap into stress life!
now i am foccus on work and my only left time is for yoga, méditation, swimming or tlaking a walk with dogs, no art journaling and i miss it a lot, really need to find time for it! i know, i can make it, may be by publish i will be a little motivate...
today i did a collage for the next kazkidanse event, when it will be dry i will picture it
here is some art journaling pages...3 doubles pages from Bali, one double page with the dry flower from mamie's funerals... in memory for her

stop here and just relax

it is a few days i am reading about mindfullness meditation, about being here, just here, about make some time in any day.
to go slower, to have a better life
so i try but stress is on my head!
i did have a sandwish picnic for lunch at the beach, and save 20 minutes for swim
then stick on computer like if it was real life
this is a goal, be far from phone or computer as much as possible
i also took a walk and 20 mn meditation
i am on the way,in 5 years i wil be ready hahahhahhahahhah
no i mean it, i have to go slower
here is a picture of my house again...and of the cat, our family's cat called DD

for my home

as jaimie asked this wenesday : what do i wish for my home ?
for my home, i wish not more than what we already have! because, i feel my home very lucky and lots of love in my home, my home is full of light and smiles, from all of us, always open!
i do love my home

no art, only work

some days some hours, some weeks, there is just no time...
i keep time for yoga, and beach in early morning some few days
soon wil come as said a friend, soon will come

running... after time

it is a strange feeling to be running, not on the road but after time; especially when it seems that it will be for one year.may be it is because i worked on week end!
i mean, i don't see when i will have this sensation to be abble to rest, only rest and be free to do painting, it is " years" since i have a few minutes to draw!!!
here i am complaining so selfish because we can all have time for do something it is just a question of organise! and i will organise better for me to " art " better
about meditation, i can see i am growing, i mean in real life, even if it is hard to handdle because i have to face it, i am not so " good" there is dark in my daily life and i see it! well to become better is a hard road and i am happy to be on this road

i have to face it, when we do the work " the little red dress" i get stress and it does affect my daily life, i am awfull with my relatives and very impatient, so far from yoga so, i have to admit that i need to become much more better with yoga in daily life, be more genttle with me for be genttke with others


i add on this post a draw sed for make a bookmark by a friend : fred boulon; it is part of the red dress project, to use draw and collages or picture from people for make bookmarks! i love this interactive part it is great to receive some art each time

expecting

yesterday the little red dress performance went ok, i will say ok because the place were we performed was hard.
and i was tense, edith was tense...
what are we expecting from our art work ? somedays i find it difficult because, even if you dont' create for others, you are still sensitive when others watch it.
each time, for the little red dress piece, it is so tense. because how can we be relax with this subject ?
i am gratefull for my team to be so present with this work
so happy to not be alone with it

workshops in highschool

today Edith adn i went for workshops in highschool with our work about child abuse " the little red dress"
it was a 2 hours class, very rich to talk about or with teenagers, edith did an extract of the piece and they were very touch by the work.
and this is just great to see that we can have a link with the audience with this hard piece
we will perform for 2 days, tomorow and saturday, i am very stress each time we have to perform this work
as usual i did not sleep last night
but this morning i was happy to find so much answers from my yesterday's post
thanks for all of you


this is a draw i did for the work last year

and a link about the work

wenesday was hard

as jaimie asked today i will try to answer

What aspect of your personality do you wish to express more of?
because my days was a bit strange and rich, because my 2 daugthers told me that i was too much stress i learned one thing
i don't know how to express my love enough, show tender and soft and caddle
may be it iw because of my past, as an abused child, i don't really know what to do for show my love after a conflit or when there is tension
today i learned and i have to thanks my daugthers, they teached me how to say " i am not super woman and i can say i need to be caddle"
so my wish is to express more caddle and tender, love and softness


picture from bali... last trip

stressfull day

i am glad to have yoga in my life because some days are driving me nuts
happy to have a deep root now with yoga because i felt like running between each class, each time. may be i am stress because the week is so busy, because i don't really find enough time for art.
the other day i wrote this..; in french sorry
and went back to my art journaling! so good to have this tool as well
without yoga, without art, would i be a dangerous sick persone ?

here is my french poetry
Droit devant soi



C’est dans mes choix que tout a changé.c’est dans la foi que j’ai pu aimer,
avec ma croix que j’ai choisi d’avancer.
Aimer et pardonner.
Aimer , éclairer
Aimer et libérer.
Dehors , dedans.
Sans négation, j’ai pu me pardonner, croire en moi, avec ma foi,
En marchant avec ma croix ;
Pour me rappeler qu’il est possible de changer ,quand on apprend
Qu’il est plausible d’avancer, avec le temps.
Aimer sans batailles ni coups,
Sans pagailles ni couts
Sans mentir du tout.
Aimer à regarder droit dedans soi
Droit devant toi.
Parce que je t’aime depuis que tu es en moi.

here is a computer collage that a yoga student and friend send to me, thanks to valérie gruber, an artist so nice

yes!

yesterday i went to a concert in my town, i was working as big help at the bar, selling beers and champagne!!! when they asked me, i felt like i should say no, and just before going, when i was ready and dressed i felt like calling and say : i am sick
but i went and it was ok, yes! idid it : i spend a big evening whith hundreds people without smoking!! yohou! i was affraid of this! but after 45 days without smoking, i faced it and i ma happy because i was fine there and very punchy
the concert was great and i had a great evening, the bnd 340ML was very good and the dj before psycorigid ( his dj 's name).
i add a picture of me with a funny uggly pyjamas but , here i am , smiling at home

slow

since i came back from funerals, i am very slow and absolutly not creative. nothing is coming out from my head or from my fingers, not a color, no words
i am here only working and feel like running after time
only thing i keep is yoga and meditation!!! argh, i have to dive back into art before i get crasy
i took a picture of nenuphar's flower at home
may be i should stay upside down like the balinese's statue
may be it will " art me up"

wishcasting

as jamie asked and wish
i will answer
what do i wish to dare ?
i wish to dare to be free and to love god

funerals

it was a very sad time to see mamie's funerals but , in the same time, it was full of grace and so many people came, young and old, all together. the church was full and the prayer was good.
since she left, it is very sad to see papy alone, he is so old and almost blind...
today i go back to my home, my island, before taking the flight, i will take a walk to the country side.i feel like coming back here and live here again. hope it will happen soon
i took some of the virgo of mamie, she beleived so much into the mother of jesus and sainte thérèse, she had some pictures, some icones... i did take some to bring back home, for my daughters. and some for me to pray them before yoga, with my littles ganesh...
i loved mamie so much, i will miss her so much
i add some pictures of miribel, i took the pictures in october

mourning

i wake up very early today but it was hard to foccus on my yoga, monkey mind going back to Mamie all the time, to memories.
the death of a close and love personn brings you back in your own personnal life. remember her, when i met her, i was young so young, when i met my husband i was into such a deep sad part of my life, this side part did hurt me so many years, like scarf, like burn, like red words made of blood and pain.
the red pain from what bad people can do to children. when i met Mamie, she loved me the way i was, she accepted me and keep loving me when i was becoming what i am now. they are in very good family, with open mind and heart, with space for freedom and " libre expression" which was not possible for me in my parent's house at this time.
so my day was like retrospective, introspection, in...
i did not start to pack and funny things are coming to the mind, like what should i wear for funerals ? so strange to think of this.
this morning i tried to meditate after my small practice ( not that small, 55 minutes...°) but my lind was even more hard to made a foccus
the road for be better is so long...
i want to work more! for be stronger, for love more, for love real



in memory of Mamie, i went on my computer where the storage's picture said flower and i choose 3 blindly... she loved flowers

no words

today Mamie is dead, the monther of my husband dyed! i am so sad; i will take the plane on wenesday for go to funerals. i was very closed to her, i really love her. deeply
no words for tell the pain, no words for so much sadness, i will go deeper into meditation and devote it to her

back home under rain

after so much hours in airport and planes, i am back home, under rain, so much rain!!! it was funny to go to the supermarket with all the children, we forgot the list at home, so forgot to buy bread, sugar... ok, anyway there is no way to do nothing, so much rain, lucky me to have take a walk early morning... i am a bit tense, feeling like smoking, i have to work even more... my bom is a bit fat! ok i will learn to accept it!!!!
the pictures are some details of my house, took by roland when we did the trock juts before i went to bali, it is funny when someone take picture of your house, its looks much more exotic...

transit

here i am , on my way home, staying 18 hours in transit in kuala lumpur airport, no way to get out!!! so here i am happy to be no smokers, i don't need to go smoke into toilets anymore!!! i am i a special salon, you pay and you can stay a certain numbets of hours, it is a bit boaring but what is funny for me is to play this game : try to find the nationality of people around me before i can ear theirs langages
the plane from bali to kuala was full of russian people, i imagine them living i the steppes, toundra's land...
i am here sitting on a big chair, looking the night in the airport, it is wird because the lights are o bigs, you can not feel if it is day or night
and i have no more books to read... argh!!! i am not not into a drawing mood, i did almost no art in this trip, only read and yoga and walk
about yoga, i will say that it was strange to take class in ubud , too much fancy, almost fashion and i felt odl and fat!!!! hahhahhahahha! no smoking make me feel pulpy like plain, like a plain fat yogourt but i like it!
i dont know which picture i choose because internet is not so good in the airport and it came without i could see which one it was, just i know it is a picture from bali!

india or asia

Entre l’inde et l’Asie

C’est une des raisons qui font que Bali est si spécifique : ce mélange d’Inde et d’Asie qui se perçoit dans les petits gestes du quotidien, dans ces multiples facettes que l’on découvre quand on visite l’île.
On dirait que la végétation s’en mêle aussi pour jouer avec l’identité culturelle, avec les esthétiques où les jardins sont zen, parsemés de divinités du panthéon indien abritées sous des parasols oranges , jaunes ou par de petits toits pointus en paille noire.
J’aime observer la magie d’une île métissée, si différente du reste de l’Indonésie (beaucoup plus tournée vers l’islam).
À Ubud, les temples sont à chaque coin de rue, voir même au sein des hôtels. Chaque jour, on peut aller voir de la danse, à la tombée de la nuit. Danse du feu, ou histoire du ramanaya ou encore danse des cocos, les couleurs sont flamboyantes pour ces costumes dorés et très décorés.
Au son du gamelan, les touristes sont conviés à une heure de spectacle à un rythme très tranquille. Les cris dans danseurs et les grimaces des masques sont utilisés pour chasser les démons. Mais l’ensemble des prestations est bon enfant.
Si l’hindouisme est très pratiqué ici, la forme des statues diffère un peu de celles en inde, on dirait qu’elles ont subi une touche asiatique les rendant bien plus rouge et or qu’ailleurs.
Il en va de même pour la cuisine , où le porc a une place de roi, tout comme le riz rouge ou blanc selon les bourses ( le riz rouge est très cher)…
J’aime acheter ces produits aux étiquettes en chinois ou en coréens, remèdes miracles aux odeurs de clous de girofles, les encens indiens qui embaument chaque coin de rue ou encore quelques épices qui mixent si bien les origines.
Au final, mes impressions sont celles d’une touriste en ballade, avec des yeux curieux et attentifs, qui se laissent séduire par le voyage.
Bali, malgré les milliers de touristes qui arpentent tes routes, tu arrives à garder une place à part qui rallie occident et orient en passant par les soleils levants !


for me bali is between asia and india with a big touch of tourist thinking
i went to a yin yoga class today and i like it!tomorow is my last day here... all travels have to end one day