still on the non smoking world

even if i did not have time to come on the blog, even if i still have some days where i need to work more on myself because emotions are getting very on zig zag.
i get angry, stress but i still don't smoke.
today, is a very hard day, with anger. here it is difficult tor practice detachement, because, facing death, i have some anger to work on.
today, we lost a very special good friend, died from cancer.
i called his wife, it was so hard, wit the distance, not be there, with them .
today, i felt it hard to not smoking.
today i found life hard, but i will keep on going, helping my friend valerie to fight againts a cancer.
i will walk early morning foccus on power of light, meditate on mys friends. with love for travel with them, here for valerie, somewherw else for serge.
i pray for his wife and his 4 childrens.
i pray for all of us

funerals

it was a very sad time to see mamie's funerals but , in the same time, it was full of grace and so many people came, young and old, all together. the church was full and the prayer was good.
since she left, it is very sad to see papy alone, he is so old and almost blind...
today i go back to my home, my island, before taking the flight, i will take a walk to the country side.i feel like coming back here and live here again. hope it will happen soon
i took some of the virgo of mamie, she beleived so much into the mother of jesus and sainte thérèse, she had some pictures, some icones... i did take some to bring back home, for my daughters. and some for me to pray them before yoga, with my littles ganesh...
i loved mamie so much, i will miss her so much
i add some pictures of miribel, i took the pictures in october

mourning

i wake up very early today but it was hard to foccus on my yoga, monkey mind going back to Mamie all the time, to memories.
the death of a close and love personn brings you back in your own personnal life. remember her, when i met her, i was young so young, when i met my husband i was into such a deep sad part of my life, this side part did hurt me so many years, like scarf, like burn, like red words made of blood and pain.
the red pain from what bad people can do to children. when i met Mamie, she loved me the way i was, she accepted me and keep loving me when i was becoming what i am now. they are in very good family, with open mind and heart, with space for freedom and " libre expression" which was not possible for me in my parent's house at this time.
so my day was like retrospective, introspection, in...
i did not start to pack and funny things are coming to the mind, like what should i wear for funerals ? so strange to think of this.
this morning i tried to meditate after my small practice ( not that small, 55 minutes...°) but my lind was even more hard to made a foccus
the road for be better is so long...
i want to work more! for be stronger, for love more, for love real



in memory of Mamie, i went on my computer where the storage's picture said flower and i choose 3 blindly... she loved flowers

no words

today Mamie is dead, the monther of my husband dyed! i am so sad; i will take the plane on wenesday for go to funerals. i was very closed to her, i really love her. deeply
no words for tell the pain, no words for so much sadness, i will go deeper into meditation and devote it to her

by bye karot

i had no energy to teach my class, loosing a friend is so sad, even if i know that he stopped suffering...
i feel lonely to not be there, with Maryse, hers sons... i am very slow.
on my way back to the room, for packing, i catch this...

lost

today, i had a bad news, one artist, a clown, clown karot is dead. he was sick and he past away, so i will light a canddle for him tonight.
and think, we have to be strong and feel good to live our lifes with power.
my performance went well yesterday, very surprising the audience. after, i could not sleep. just thinking too much.
i post as a picture an extrait of a big canavas i did shoot in the art museum of bangalore. a red dress poster! i did impress me, because, as you saw , i am on a red dress process.
i will go back to my travel diairy from tomorow.
i still have one workshop to teach before take the bus back to mysore...
bye bye karot! we will miss you